November 2011
12 posts
All I need is a beer and a BJ right now to go with...
And all I have is beer. almost two weeks without intimacy with a woman is TOO MUCH MAN.
The Fury can fuck off with his jetpack,...
OH THE JOYS OF BEING 14 AGAIN. SNAKE EATER FTW.
“Regrets are like chocolate: they’re brown, sometimes a little bit too...”
– A man on youtube, with a voice rivaling Barry White, playing Sonic the Hedgehog to smooth jazz.
Why do I want French onion soup so bad right now?
My mum thought my new tattoo was 2 bears fucking.
Wut.
Smoking devil's grass and working on the weekend...
3 hours in, all I’ve done is read up on:
Spanish/Dutch military conflicts
Medieval execution methods
Treason punishments
Conspiracy plots
Which lead into…
Doomsday scenarios
Astrological disasters
Astrophysics
Timeline of the far future
Ways the universe could end
Whether or not there is actually a universe of not
Boltzmann brains
Whether or not everything is just a total...
“I’ll eat your asshole alive you bitch. Fuck you, you hoe.”
– Mike Tyson
On my way to Orlando for Anthrax/Testament/Death...
I’m gonna cum.
So hard. Wearing a rubber the whole time to catch that spillage.
October 2011
21 posts
Halloween:
I’m sure as shit not dressed up, but it’s totally fun to tell anyone dressed like an animal to “YIFF IN HELL FURFAG.”
I've stopped watching TV altogether almost because...
Oh you so crazy with your “drama.”
Thanks for keeping civilised folks like me onboard the chuckle wagon with your “problems”, “haters”, etc.
Applied for a job in Antarctica.
IT’S ABOUT TO GET COLD. The booze that is. I’d be HNIC about those beverages.
I'VE ONLY BEEN AT WORK 4 HOURS
And I watched 2/3 of an episode of Ancient Aliens, passed the fuck out and had some semi-awake dream IN THE DAMN STARS and woke up fully again.
Not a single bit of work done. Saturdays are the best. No one in the building. CURSE/BLESS YE DRUGS.
That feel when you realise "Oh, I remember now why...
Because I despise the holiday and have spent all but on of my Halloweens in recent memory banging an ex all night.
My body has never been so confused.
I feel like I’ve slept a whole night but I only woke up at 10 and I have massive morning wood and it won’t go away.
WHAT DO?
In one day I managed to turn my entire mentality...
I know that feel bro. And it feels good.
I can probably just delete this tumblr now seeing as I have nothing left to whine about to myself and try and figure things out. I figured them out and put myself back in a good place. Maybe I’ll just make it public and go back to how I used to be here. Who knows?
feelsgoodman.jpg
It’s weird. I don’t really feel like I’m struggling with any feelings anymore. It’s not like any unconditional hostility to people, or self esteem issues went away. They’re just indifferent from my
point of view now. I don’t know when I got so pussified. I think I miss the old me, and that’s why I was so down. I want the hard partying, jovial, laugh...
HAW HAW BLAWGING FROM MY PHONE WHILE WORKAN
My coworkers are fucking retarded.
I can’t stand being around people. None of that “ppl r shyt” bollocks tweens love. I utterly despise people. I can maybe count on all my bodily digits the people I genuinely like. They just irritate me to no end, and by some miraculous feat I’m actually cordially to these people daily instead of being brutally honest as usual in order to prevent any trouble. It’s the...
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
I really don't know why I made another one.
Maybe every time I get unbelievably, morbidly depressed I have to just type out my thoughts and look at them to try and make some sense of myself. Who fucking knows? I wish there were better ways than tumblr though. Nowadays it’s a bunch of kids recycling months old 4chan material, hipster horseshit, slapping a filter on any picture they can get their hands on and reblogging it, meaningless...